Dumpster Fire Cookies

If we all thought 2020 was bad enough, 2021 definitely asked it to hold their beer while showing us a good time.

And if there’s one thing we can all agree on, 2021 has been a dumpster fire of a year, which is why these Dumpster Fire Cookies are the perfect way to end it off. 

I’ve been sitting on a few random pantry items that were begging to be made into something, anything! My inspiration came from Milk Bar’s Compost Cookies®, which I’ve never eaten but have heard many tales of how amazing they are. 

After sending my mom home with a bag of these after she dropped off a bunch of meds to help fight the flu I currently have (PCR test results pending), I received a message from my sister about them:

“Your cookies are crack.”

This is the kind of stuff that any baker dreams of receiving, so thought it was probably a good idea to share because we could all use some good crack cookies right now.

Dumpster Fire Cookies

The dough for these can be made and frozen ahead of time, which is ideal if you only want to bake a small amount of them. The dough must be chilled before baking the cookies because they spread a lot and you’ll end up with very flat cookies if you bake from room temp. If you ignore this, you will live to regret it.

For even better results freeze the portioned dough and bake it straight from frozen. As far as the odds and sods that I added to these, feel free to sub with whatever other things you have in your pantry. Go wild, just try to stick to the weights below so you don’t overwhelm the actual cookie dough.

Ingredients

225g flour
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
225g butter, softened
200g light brown sugar
150g dark brown sugar
2 tbsp condensed milk
1 egg
1 tsp vanilla extract
100g dark chocolate chips
100g milk chocolate chips
100g white chocolate chips
50g puffed rice
50g rolled oats
50g cornflakes
50g coconut flakes
50g sunflower seeds
50g puffed millet
2.5 tsp instant or ground coffee

1. Combine the dry ingredients in a bowl and set aside.
2. Place the butter, sugar and condensed milk in the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment. Mix on a medium-high speed and mix for around 3 minutes.
3. Scrape down the sides of the bowl, add the egg and vanilla extract and continue mixing until pale & fluffy. 
4. Turn the speed of the mixer down, add the dry ingredients and mix until just combined. 
5. Scrape down the sides of the mixing bowl and add the rest of the cookie ingredients. Mix until just combined.
6. Line a baking tray with baking paper and divide the cookie dough into 1/3 cup portions. 
7. Cover the unbaked cookies in the fridge overnight – you must bake the cookies when the dough is cold otherwise they’ll spread too much. 
8. Preheat the oven to 160°C, line a separate baking tray and place 6 cookies on it. Don’t crowd the tray as these will spread.
9. Bake for around 18 minutes, until the edges are beginning to brown.
10. Allow to cool completely before transferring to a cookie jar or serving plate.
11. Repeat with the remaining cookie dough.